“It seems the cockroaches are having a party tonight. The whole extended family (courtesy to the new EVS chapter he has on family) is there, from great grandpa to tiny little ones “ “ Yeah chettan there are soooo many. Let’s show this to amma”. Both of them barged into the room where I was and started pulling my hands. “come come, see what’s going on” They wouldn’t stop till I agreed to follow them.
Right, there ARE quite umpteen numbers of those brown insects, hustling to hide somewhere disapproving the sudden beam of bright light. There stands my boy giving commentary about each one of them and he is no more afraid of them .yes… that’s the point which makes me happy.
His phobia for cockroaches started with the visit of an unscrupulous guest of mine. He happened to visit the town with his wife and three months old baby and asked if we could accommodate them for a few days. Fine but see, I have a 2yrs old toddler, who is quite active and I don’t know whether you would be able to fit in quietly with him all around. Nooo problem, its just a few days. Alright then.
Later it turned out that this man was quite phobic about the security of the baby, that although the wife was a nurse, they were frightened to give the baby a proper bath to the point that the cute little baby started stinking, until one day my boy’s nanny stepped in offering to give the baby a bath.
One day it so happened that my then toddler boy, would barge in and out of their room to peek at the baby every now and then. He would not touch or trouble the baby, but just he wanted to see him quite a lot.
Suddenly, there was a sudden shriek and the little one came out like a bullet shivering like a fragile leaf. WHAT HAPPENED???
The man had a plan to keep this boy out of his room. He picked up a large cockroach by its antenna and suddenly shoved it into his face as he entered the room.
************* It took so many years of dedicated hard work for me to purge this fear out of his mind. Each time he sees a cockroach, he would scream, I would pacify him, later slowly I started to pick up one of those and show him how harmless an insect that is, and how strong he was that he could even squish them if he wanted to.
Slowly he understood there is nothing to fear about them. Many of us tell the stories of monsters to the kids to make them eat or to stop them from doing something, not really understanding the damage we are causing, though unintentionally. Their mind is like molten wax which takes up the prints of whatever affects them very quickly, and it stays there, sometimes causing irreparable damages.
*********All of us are trying to be faithful parents.
We strive to have faith in our own instincts and our abilities to care for the most precious people in our lives.
We hold on to the faith that our children will have their own abilities to overcome the mistakes we make and the obstacles they will face in life.
We attempt to be faithful to what we know is right, to the truths we hold dear and want to pass on to our children. ****************